I always have this fear of feelings would change, and I’d like to think that absence makes the heart grow fonder but that doesn’t seem to be the case here. the less you starting to care…

It hurts to see the person I madly love is hurt, because of my emotion and neglecting all the goods into believing something that is false. I want to be there for you every second through your life, but I somehow I can’t give you that happiness. I want to stay with you, be with you, be that bride that you want to marry, be that wife you want to have a family with. Tonight you told me “I can’t take it anymore, it’s getting into me”, “my head hurts”… that was the biggest stab right through my heart, I want to try for you.. but I’m scared it’ll just be another pain into your heart because of my “dark side”.  

Ever since the day I left, there wasn’t a day I didn’t wish to see you be by my side. I feel lonely without you here, i’m in needy of you. My dark side just keep getting worse, the thought without you kills me inside. Though I know, I can’t seem to grow apart away from you, the only man that I dreamed to be with, eternity. I’ll try.

I wish I can be better at giving you my heart, but I seem to hurt you more than I love you. 

It’s 12am, been exactly an hour since our last conversation. Different today, because all I saw was half an hour of the man I love. We both agreed to stay in each others life, but why is it always me trying to handle the pain on my own. You are sleeping, and I asked to be alone. I got what I asked for, but is slowly killing me. Never been this hard,it’ll be different tonight.  

I want to wake up to you every morning, with a passionate kiss lay on my forehead. Your hand running through my hair untangling my bed hair, the security. I want to cuddle up into your arms, all wrapped up tucked beneath you. The feeling of being secure. I want to wake up to the sound of your “good mornings”, and your ” good nights”. Make you breakfast, and turn on the shower tap, for you to get ready for work. At night, dinner awaits for you from exhaustiveness. I want this with you, I want everyday of my life with you till death puts us to sleep. This routine, will never be tedious. Because, I will always know you will be with me at the end of the day.  

 

Even if each day, our conversation gets shorter, our lives gets busier. I’ll never forget you, because I can’t wait to be with you soon.  

Because of you loving to play hide-n-seek, I wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight. I just don’t know how to be a better girlfriend, then to always be moody and complaining. I just wanted every night with you, but I guess it’s different tonight. It sucks to miss you, when all I wanted was every moment with you.

Only if it was easy to not have to worry about anything between us. No words, can describe how much I adore you. Let us be inseparable, don’t let anything torn our relationship.

seeing you fall asleep, just makes me melt.

60 more days, till i’m off to see him. Super hyped up about it, the anxiety of seeing him makes me have butterflies in my stomach. Tickets are made, and i’ll be gone for 2 weeks, and I already know what am I going to pack for my trip! Just got to keep my chin up high, and don’t trip over little bitches. 

I never want to be apart from you, from the time I fell for you was the day I knew you’d be closest I’d ever get being..close to. I hope every problem that hits us, even if its the worst catastrophe that comes, we will stay by each other side holding tight. Never will let you down, never, stanley wong. 

xoxo 

Greatest feel of sleeping with the man that completes me. Goodnight boo!

Prom tomorrow with my girl, too bad my boyfriend isnt here. But I got ma date, and I just need to paint my face and glam up like a princess. Sucks that he is not here, though I’m sure in 73 days he’ll make it up for me. A guy that put me through tears, every memory with him holds a special meaning even though it’s just through the phone. love love love him, even if he chooses diablo3. I know i’ll be the last person he thinks of at night, because i sleep with him through the phone. he-he